Five

Good morning and happy Monday! So sorry for the inadvertent radio silence last week. Last Saturday, I woke up with a cough and a sore throat and it really knocked me out! I was in bed for three days, missed work on Monday, and slowly started coming back to life the rest of the week just to be hit with an awful migraine on Friday, which put me in bed once again for a good 15 hours. Sometimes life just tells you to slow your roll regardless of what is on your calendar. I am feeling better, thankfully, but still trying to take it easy and not push myself. I haven't worked out in almost two weeks and that in and of itself gives me anxiety. Not because I feel like I'm gaining weight, but because working out is my stress reliever! Anyhoo, thanks to everyone who checked in on me to make sure I was still breathing!

Outfit details--- Sunnies: Quay "High Key" | Earrings: CS Gems (option) | Necklace: House of Harlow 1960 (other colors here) | Bag: Charming Charlie (c/o) (option) | Top: BP. | Bottoms: Express (option, option) | Boots: Naturalizer (option, option) ---

Tomorrow marks my FIFTH anniversary of the blog. Five years. That's a pretty long time in blog years. Truthfully, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this blog. Last year was difficult in terms of scheduling and balancing my Pilates certification with my full time job plus the blog. Now that I've graduated, I had hoped that meant that I could recharge again on the blog, but that hasn't really happened. For the most part, I am only teaching two hours a week, but when I allow time for myself to work out after work, that still doesn't leave me with much more free time than I had when I was trying to get certified. For the last couple of years, I've blogged solely on the weekends because that's the only time I had strength to do it. And I'm now starting to feel like I miss having a weekend. I miss not having to worry about taking photos or sitting in this recliner for 6 hours writing my blog posts for the week.

I also feel like my blog has maxed out in its growth. Yes, I still have so much more opportunity to grow, but with the time I have in my current schedule, I feel that this is as good as it's going to get. Which is great! Don't get me wrong. I never imagined anything would ever become of the blog, and I've had so many amazing opportunities and my following and readership has developed WAY more than I ever expected. But blogging takes time and its growth is directly proportional to the time and money you are willing to invest in it, and while I am willing, I am just not able to do more than I am doing right now without sacrificing another part of my life.

On top of all that, I feel like I don't shop as much as I used to, which makes me feel like I don't have any new or relevant content to share with you guys. When I first started this blog, it was merely to share the outfits of the day. The actual outfits I am wearing on the actual days I am wearing them. I still take daily outfit selfies (and post them on Snapchat every morning @carylee07 in case you are interested...) but my blog is no longer a real time documentation of my outfits. That's not necessarily good or bad or better or worse. Just different that I had originally intended. It's one thing to be dressed for work or for an event, but it's another thing (and a lot of effort) to get dressed for the sole reason to take photos for the blog. Yes, I wear the outfits in real life eventually, but the fact that it's forced and that people may be interested in buying your latest purchases adds a bit more pressure than if I were to just dress up and remix things I already own in my closet.

And of course, everyone talks about this Instagram algorithm. I would be lying if I said that it didn't frustrate me. You build a following on a social media platform and over time you expect that your engagement will continue to improve. As a blogger, yes, I work with rewardStyle and can make a small commission off of purchases people make through my affiliate links. I've never really sold much on Instagram to be honest, even when my engagement was at it's peak. I've always made 80-90% of my commission on the blog. But, there's that instant gratification that comes from posting a photo on Instagram and watching the likes and comments roll in. Sadly, those likes validate this hobby and help confirm that I am providing relevant and interesting content. When that validation dwindles though, the motivation to post gets affected, too. A lot of my favorites from Instagram are no longer active, maybe as a result of the algorithm or perhaps just because of life. It's a bummer. I miss the Instagram that used to not be complicated. Photos posted in real time, in the order they were posted. Such a simple concept. I miss the simplicity. Now it's turned into strategy, which means more time or at least more thought and more effort to post, and yeah. Apparently I ain't got no time for that because it hasn't been a priority for me to post regularly there any more. 

Before I go on, I should say that this is not a Dear John letter. I'm not quitting blogging. At least not today. I know I would miss it, just as I always do when I've stepped away for an extended amount of time. I love sharing with you guys, I love having this space that is my own, and I do love blogging despite it's challenges and my lack of time. I just need to figure out how I can recalibrate my life to make blogging as fun for me as it used to be and not just an obligation. So. I'm not sure what that means at the moment. But I'll be thinking about it. I apologize for all of the negativity in this post - I don't mean to be. It's meant to be more introspective and these are just the honest thoughts I've been having knowing that my 5 year anniversary was around the corner.

I've shared some of these thoughts already with Rachelle and Gina who had so much good advice and feedback for me like:

-- Make a list of the pros and cons of blogging and weigh the things I love about blogging against the things I don't love. 

 -- I cannot shop just for the sake of having new clothes for the blog. I have a lot of clothes and am great at mixing and matching.

 -- Adding Pilates has been like adding a child. And the blogging industry has changed a bunch. It's only natural that I need to make some changes in response.

 -- I have to find my happy medium and a lot of the pressure that I have (along with other bloggers) is self imposed. Narrow my energy and let the rest go.

So there you have it. This may not be the big-ballooned-anniversary post, but it's real life! And hell, five years is still five years and five years being committed to ANYthing, much less blogging is a ginormous feat and one thing I need to be proud of. And I am. SO PROUD. It's a lot of work, a lot of outfits, a lot of words, and so. Much. Time. But I've done it and I am thankful for every one of you reading this. You're the reasons why I could never quit cold turkey and it's hard to believe that anyone would think I am interesting enough to even follow along! So happy five years to me!

Bloglovin | Facebook | Instagram

SHOP THE LOOK:

Linking up with Rachelle

<div align="center"> <a href="http://morepiecesofme.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Linkup Button" src="http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k269/clephobuck/clephobuck002/a6698cff-0812-47d9-8346-883112f20927_zpslnfpf2cu.png"/></a>

Hosted by:

Carylee: More Pieces of Me | Bloglovin | Instagram

Jenna: Sincerely Jenna Marie | Bloglovin | Instagram

Whether it's fashion, lifestyle, fitness, food, or DIY, share your latest musings with the Hello Monday Linkup! We just ask that you link back to the hosts within your exact blog post and throw a follow our way on Bloglovin or Instagram. Thanks for linking up!

An InLinkz Link-up